I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and into my bag

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At the end of 2020, while writing down my goals for the new year, I promised on paper to be nicer to myself and lean into radical self-love. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what “radical self-love” looked like, but it was clear that my current state of affairs had to change. Love is interesting that way. For me at least, it’s always been much easier to love on and pour into others than it was to do the same for myself. I spent most of my adult life…


I have lots of thoughts about this entertaining, but deeply misinformed interview

Image Source: The Joe Budden Podcast

Last week, famously problematic and retired Emo-rapper Joe Budden decided to have dating Guru and “Life Coach” Kevin Samuels on his Podcast. For those of you who aren’t in the know, Kevin rose to fame when a video of him giving very colorful relationship advice to a woman was posted on Worldstar And then went viral.

Kevin’s basic idea about love and relationships is that Black women are struggling to find love because they demand a “high-level man”, defined as an “Alpha Male” who is a high-level earner…


Don’t say “I Believe Women” but do nothing about the people terrorizing them

Image Source: WikiCommons

In the spring of 2016, during my first month as a full-time staff member of Citizen Action of New York, I traveled up to Albany for a lobby day. Before I shifted to politics, I was the team’s Communications Associate. On that day, my job was to amplify member stories on social media and introduce myself to the Legislative Correspondents Association (LCA). The people at the LCA were friendly but not very interested in getting to know a temp communications associate when budget negotiations were taking place…


It’s ok to be a sucker for love. It’s not ok to be a monster

Illustration: Siddhakanksha Mishra

This post is one of many from my Sucker4Love Mixtape Series: Things I have learned from the women who dumped me. Sign up here for the newsletter.

When I started this essay series, I hoped to use my failed relationships and poor decisions as a filter to discuss important issues. Things like consent, rape culture, and entitlement. I was hoping to do it in a way that would encourage men to assess the way they view and engage with women, while also doing a deeper…


Get over yourselves, there isn’t a war against Black men lead by “bitter” Black women

Image Source: Don’t Be a Menace from South Central

When I was 15 years old, I went through a streak where no one in my 8th-period science class would sit next to me. Every day, I would enter the classroom and look for my friends; they would smile, say hello, and then immediately shift to the other side of the room. At first, I thought this was just a coincidence, but after a couple of days where people who I considered close friends and even a couple of enemies, were going out of their…


Fella’s, we have got a lot of work to do.

Image Source: Red Table Talk Via Facebook

This post is one of many from my Sucker4Love Mixtape Series: Things I have learned from the women who dumped me. Sign up here for the newsletter.

When I broke the news of losing my virginity, my friends were ecstatic. Everyone was filled with what felt like a combination of joy, and pride for my accomplishment. To celebrate this “life-changing” moment, we decided that everyone would go to the campus party happening later that evening.

The party, as expected was a blast, so we didn’t leave until the very end…


Sometimes the problem is you

Photo by Vinícius Vieira ft from Pexels

This post is one of many from my Sucker4Love Mixtape Series: Things I have learned from the women who dumped me. Sign up here for the newsletter.

The Girl.

Do you know how every guy says he wants a girl who is “easy to be around?” Well, Desiray was just that. We met a couple of weeks after that time I was accused of kidnapping a white woman. Specifically, at the Borders Bookstore on 34th street (RIP Borders). I was on a serious Eric Jerome Dickey binge (Also RIP) and I guess she was too…


How toxic masculinity ruined summer camp and my friendship

Photo: martinedoucet/Getty Images

When I was 10 years old, my parents decided they wanted the summer for themselves. So they did what any self-respecting NYC family with little money would do — they signed me up for day camp. That’s where I met Jose, my first best friend.

Jose was a light-skinned Dominican kid with straight black hair and big eyes; his fingernails were painted black. We met during lunch when he jumped into a heated debate between me and our lead camp counselor, Jayshawn, about who was the strongest Power Ranger. Jayshawn and his crew insisted it was the Green Ranger (Tommy)…


One of the most dangerous things to the movement is ego.

Rowland Scherman, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

If you’re like me, you probably spent some time today scrolling through the endless quotes, think pieces, and social media posts honoring the legacy and work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I wouldn’t expect anything less on the national holiday we use to celebrate his birth. Dr. King’s contribution to civil rights, anti-war, and economic justice movements have shaped the way many of us view the world. …


The relationship that gave me an education on class solidarity

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This post is one of many from my Sucker4Love Mixtape Series: Things I have learned from the women who dumped me. Sign up here for the newsletter.

Sometimes, the biggest lesson you learn in dating comes from the relationship that didn’t happen. On other occasions, the lesson you learn has nothing to do with relationships and more to do with how you view the world, and how it views you. This next relationship isn’t as much about the girl, then it is about an interesting time in my life, and…

Stanley Fritz

JET mag beauty of the week finalist circa 2067. Table flipper, writer. Non respectable negro. Racist round house kicker

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