Men Aren’t Wiping Their A***** and I am Confusion

Stanley Fritz
3 min readDec 22, 2020

Toxic masculinity has too many of my brothers looking ashy and smelling like an Arby's toilet stall.

Image Source: Twitter

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The other day, while casually scrolling through Twitter, I saw a tweet that literally stopped me in my tracks. According to the user @Baybonvonbonbon(I’m serious), there are men out there who just outright refuse to wipe after going number two. Now, like any rational human being, I thought that this person was just trolling; because first, who the hell picks a Twitter handle like that and isn’t a Russian bot. Secondly, what kind of people does Baybonvonbonbob have in their life, and why would these men refuse to wipe after using the bathroom?!

Like any rational person with plenty of things to do, I decided to blow off all of my responsibilities so that I could dive headfirst into a Twitter research rabbit hole. What I quickly discovered was that not only were men refusing to wipe their bottoms, they were doing it because some believe that makes them gay. There was even a guy who criticized other men for using wipes!

After taking a moment to digest the madness, I think I’m ready to have a serious conversation with you all. But first, I have a message to all of the heterosexual men reading this post. Wiping your ass after using the bathroom does not make you gay. Additionally, wiping your behind is not a sexual act. I mean sure, there is probably someone somewhere who gets off on that, but in general, it is not sex. Even if it were, unless you have romantic feelings for, and are attracted to the same sex, you are not gay. You’re just a dude who wipes his ass, and maybe also enjoys butt stuff. If that’s the case, that is totally fine!

Stanley Fritz

JET mag beauty of the week finalist circa 2067. Table flipper, writer. Non respectable negro. Racist round house kicker