Sucker4Love Mixtape: That Time I Gave Out Trash D*CK

Stanley Fritz
6 min readFeb 5, 2021

Fella’s, we have got a lot of work to do.

Image Source: Red Table Talk Via Facebook

This post is one of many from my Sucker4Love Mixtape Series: Things I have learned from the women who dumped me. Sign up here for the newsletter.

When I broke the news of losing my virginity, my friends were ecstatic. Everyone was filled with what felt like a combination of joy, and pride for my accomplishment. To celebrate this “life-changing” moment, we decided that everyone would go to the campus party happening later that evening.

The party, as expected was a blast, so we didn’t leave until the very end. Everyone wanted to sleep in the next day, so we agreed to check in on Sunday. I remember, right before he left, my buddy, Ja’meer walked up to me and said, “congrats bro, now that you popped your cherry, you’re gonna want it all of the time!” I laughed and told him that I had “something lined up for later”, then wished him well and left.

I didn’t have anything going on. I wasn’t even thinking about sex, honestly, I wanted to hurry back to my dorm so I could play Gears of War. After Ja told me I was “gonna want to have sex all of the time” and that’s not how I felt, I started to worry something was wrong with me. Every guy I talked to said the same thing. After they got their virginity “out of the way,” they wanted to “fuck everything in sight.” I decided to share this anxiety with Ja’meer.

He listened for a couple of minutes, told me that everything was ok, and the reason I was so stressed and uninterested in sex was that I didn’t know what I was doing. It made sense, the girl I lost my virginity to didn’t know that she was my first. Well, she didn’t know before we had sex, I would be surprised if my performance didn’t raise some eyebrows. Ja had the perfect solution to this problem. Practice. All I had to do was “knock the head off a couple of hoes,” and then my pipe game would be “suitable enough to offer a slice of dick to a real woman” this advice made me uncomfortable, so I asked my dad. He disagreed with Ja’meer. Women are not hoes, and we (Ja’meer and I) shouldn’t call them that. However, if I wanted to be good at sex, I should sleep with a few of the easier women to get my stamina up.”

Stanley Fritz

JET mag beauty of the week finalist circa 2067. Table flipper, writer. Non respectable negro. Racist round house kicker